Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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