i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
