white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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