just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
