It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
