He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
