Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
