I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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