You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just googled if crying burns calories
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
