I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so explain again why im purple
no
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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