So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Are we still banned from the library?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
