I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
