Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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