my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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