i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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