I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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