We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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