The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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