He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
