...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
