She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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