He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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