I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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