these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
