shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
