They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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