When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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