with your own penis?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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