tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
