Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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