well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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