he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
