I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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