My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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