does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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