physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
