Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
