I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You don't make any sense
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