one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
