Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Mom said you looked used
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
