I hate all girls vehemently.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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