that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
