I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
