so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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