the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
