I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pappa wants mamma naked
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
