so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
