your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
