he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
