I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
