return my video game
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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