was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
