I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
